Timor is another powerful, dark, peppery scent, evoking the power of its translation, fear. What drives our fear? Is it useful? What happens when fear gets out of control? How can we change our feelings around it? Fear is natural but limiting its impact on our mind and bodies is key.
Fear of the known and the unknown. The feeling of bracing yourself for what is about to come, your stomach clenching, sweaty palms and the feeling of panic. How can we manage our fears better and what is the boundary between anxiousness and fear?
The positive intention of fear is the need to protect us and keep us safe. That’s fine, but when it starts seeping into our everyday existence it can become a problem. Fear can also be a symptom of a mental health condition including panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but fear itself doesn’t always mean the presence of something more ominous. Some women can feel intense anxiety around the time of the menopause for no obvious reason. Where feelings of fear or intense/long-term anxiety are impacting daily life, individuals should discuss this with a medical professional to rule out underlying conditions.
Fear, in the majority of people, tends to be a temporary state associated with a real and present danger whilst anxiety is more associated with a long-term underlying fear of something happening, but where the threat is poorly defined. For some people, it’s a fear of failing, letting loved ones down, losing a job etc. So, what can we do?
We can try to face our fears head on. As children, learning to walk and run, we didn’t really understand fear, we just kept going, exploring and trying new things. Over time though, our experiences may have taught us to be fearful. Sometimes we had evidence that things can go wrong, like when we fell off a bike and hurt ourselves. However, if we always stay within our comfort zone and avoid situations that might scare us, we might stop doing the things we want or need to do and our world can start diminishing. What if the situation isn’t as bad as we expected? It doesn’t mean we have to become reckless, but if we don’t try, we might miss the chance to work out how to manage our fears and reduce our anxiety. Constantly avoiding new things or situations increases the problems we experience. Facing our fears and repeating the experience helps the brain adjust and become more comfortable.
We can also try and visualise our fears instead of giving into the anticipated negative scenarios that might occur. Understanding that our brains are trying to protect us in the most primitive way, we can ask ourselves, what if the thing I am about to do isn`t actually that scary? What other positive outcomes might there be? The sub conscious is very quick to respond and immediately starts giving alternatives. Repeating this a few times will give the brain something more positive to focus on. If visualising is difficult, try using sounds or words. E.g. if you are giving a presentation, it might be clapping sounds, or praise; if it’s meeting a group of people or someone new, it might be laughter or conversation. If you are more of a ‘feelings’ person, notice the emotions each scenario brings and if you are more comfortable learning something by doing, then imagine each scenario as a logical process and notice what you do differently in each one.
Sometimes getting to the root of a fear or anxious feeling, where the reason is not immediately obvious, can be difficult. Think about something specific where you have felt fearful. Usually, it is like a movie that you can be in control of. You can speed it up, slow it down, change the colours etc. Notice what is happening, who is with you, the sounds etc. Go back to the beginning, but this time, slow the movie down and notice precisely when the fear or anxiety starts. Rewind and slow it down even further; notice where this happens, who is with you, and why it’s happening. You could even ask yourself, “what is happening here?” and your subconscious mind might provide the answer.
If we saw fear or anxiety as more normal and something felt by nearly every human being at some point in time, we would probably view it very differently. However, when we are feeling fear, it can cripple us leaving us feeling inept and sometimes isolated. These exercises help the brain to focus on something more positive and over a period of time our thoughts are likely to change.