Imperium, meaning control, is named because despite its subtlety, this is a powerful scent. Control, whether we succumb to it or take it for ourselves, can be powerful but just as subtle.
Can we really control our mind? What if I told you that we can change the way we feel by changing the way we think? Our subconscious cannot determine the difference between imagination and what is really happening. If we think back to when we were children, we often played with objects that in our heads became real life things. If our parents had said, ‘give me the broom back’ we would have yelled, “it’s not a broom, it’s a horse!” In our world we believed it was real. As adults though, we largely leave the imagination behind and focus on conscious thought and logic, however, that makes up only 5-10% of our brain function.
Our subconscious mind can make decisions without our needing to actively think about them, such as, driving a car or playing an instrument. At the start, we need to think about every action and then one day we realise that we can perform those actions without seemingly thinking at all. Furthermore, we are aware of the Placebo effect, when a person’s physical or mental health appears to improve after taking a placebo or ‘dummy’ treatment. So, can we really control our mind?
I’m not saying it’s possible to think ourselves better just by thinking a few positive thoughts, we need to break the subconscious patterns. The sub-conscious mind, based on years of learned behaviours, our belief systems and experiences, plays the same responses to life’s signals time and time again. Like a ring master it is in charge, drowning out our conscious thoughts. If the experiences are negative, the responses are likely to be as well. To truly think more positively, we need to believe what we are telling ourselves. It’s no good saying ‘I believe I can run my own business, get another job, gain a promotion, or lose weight’, if what we are really hearing, at a sub conscious level is, “I am a failure, I’m useless, I can’t do this’. If that is what we have heard growing up, then that is what we are likely to believe.
Breaking sub conscious patterns is key to gaining different, more positive outcomes. That’s where NLP (neuro linguistic programming) or hypnotherapy, or anything that works for you, can help. There are a few things though that we can try in the comfort of our own home.
On a conscious level we can drive a change. What ever happened in the past that might have influenced how we got to this place becomes a story in our heads that we retell ourselves, over and over. Write down the problem statement as it comes to mind and then rewrite it in a more positive way. E.g. ‘I hate my job, and I’m stuck here because I’m useless’, could become, ‘I will develop myself and find a new job in the future that pays better and fulfils me more’. Then write down the actions needed e.g. What job would I like? What am I good at? What skills do I need? What courses do I need to undertake? What might stop me getting to my goal? Some people might put this in a visual context like a mind map, others are happy with words. This technique gives you the ability to rewrite your story from here-on-in.
You can do this in a guided imagery way too. Let’s imagine that you want to be less stressed in a particular situation. A good example is where people become stressed during a conflict with another person. Often their fight or flight instinct kicks in and they either find themselves leaving because they feel they can’t cope or shouting even louder in defence of their own actions or beliefs. The following exercise can help.
In a quiet place and in a comfortable position with your eyes closed, re-run the memory in your head as it happened. Notice everything about it – how you felt, what was said, what was happening around you. Open your eyes for a moment and close them again. Now think about a time when you were really relaxed and notice the difference in your body. Once you are feeling relaxed, stay with that feeling for a short while and again, open your eyes. Finally, close your eyes again, remembering how relaxed you felt and re-run the same memory. What differences do you notice? Has your own behaviour changed? Do you speak differently? Act differently? What about those around you? Once you have re-run this image a few times, testing to make sure that no other negative thoughts pop-up, take a few deep breaths and open your eyes. Now, consciously think of the next time you might be in a similar situation and notice if you feel differently. If you feel the same, repeat the exercise until you feel it change.