Electio, meaning choice is a light, powdery scent you will either love or hate. However, it is named because everyone has the right to have an opinion and, therefore, make a choice. Very often people forget they have the right to do that, and the feeling of choice simply eludes them. Stuck in jobs or relationships they don’t want to be in, for them choice appears to be the one thing they don’t have. Is that true?
Electio, meaning ‘choice’ in Latin. One tiny word that can instigate all sorts of thoughts, desires, feelings. The mere suggestion that we, us, humans and our complex, conscious and unconscious minds can actually affect and shape our futures, might seem a step too far, right? After all, if we put our minds to it, anything should be possible. Well that’s the point, it depends what is in the mind in the first place. So, let me start at the beginning.
We are all different and yet as humans we all have the same basic needs. We like secure, comfortable environments and when life isn’t like that, we do what we can to survive. When we can’t trust the people who are supposed to love us unconditionally, it puts us on guard and fearful. When people leave our lives too early or suddenly, it makes us wonder about the fairness of our world. When we struggle through personal relationships and lose our sense of self, we lack trust. When we work ourselves to the bone to provide security for ourselves and our loved ones and end up depleted, how do we recover? When yet more negative experiences are placed upon us, we can feel weighed down, often thinking we can’t survive these things, that they are all too much.
So, what helps us to work through things and see life through a more positive lens? Personally, I choose to see each day as a completely new slate, an opportunity for that day or the future to be different. Is it easy to do that? Well, define easy! But think for a moment…. What will you wear tomorrow? What meal will you have tonight? What outings will you plan? It’s your choice. What if life was like that? That we could just simply choose?
Believe it or not, I like to think we do have that choice, setting aside the more traumatic things such as death or chronic illness. Broadly, we can choose to change the way we live our lives, or we can choose to stay just as we are. If the latter is a great place to be, great! If it’s not, that’s a whole different conversation. Sometimes the choice is easy and sometimes it takes a period of self-reflection, discovery and curiosity. Sometimes making a choice can provoke a feeling of fear and sometimes thqt fear can stop us making a choice in the first place; understanding that can often help.
As a coach I’m often amazed at the simplest things that can really change people’s perceptions on what their future might look or feel like. I’ll often say “if there is one thing you would like to achieve as you walk out of the door today, what would that be? And if you could see yourself in the future having achieved that one thing, how would you feel? Who would be with you? What would you notice?” The realisation that they can feel it, see it, hear it and sometimes even taste and smell it is often all they need for their brain to change direction, for it to see the art of the possible.
So, if you could choose, what one thing could you choose today that could shape the rest of your life for the better?
Quote from Jamie in the series ‘Outlander’ – one day I turned around, looked back and saw that each step taken was a choice. To go left, to go right, to go forward or even to not go at all. Every day man has a choice; between right and wrong; between love and hate and sometimes between life and death. And the sum of those choices, becomes your life.